Today we bring you a personal reflection from one of our nuns!

The coronavirus is ravaging the globe, many people are suffering from the illness, and among those who are well, there is scarcely one whose life is not dramatically affected by the measures taken in nations, states, and in the Church to prevent the spread of the disease.  What has struck me most deeply has been the suspension of public Masses in Catholic dioceses across the globe. It is a pierce to the heart, and makes me feel sick to my stomach, to think not only of the disease itself, but of the tragic sorrow of SO MANY souls without the Mass, without the Eucharist, without the strength of the sacraments, of all times, during the Sacred season of Lent! What a chastisement from God, perhaps a “wake up call” to so many in the Church who are so indifferent to the Holy Eucharist and the obligation to attend Mass… yet this “chastisement,” if that’s what it is, afflicts more than anyone else, those fervent, believing Catholics who truly draw their life’s breath from the Eucharist.  So, I don’t know about you, but over the past couple weeks I have at times been pretty bummed, feeling the weight of all this, and finding myself in a “gloom and doom” attitude.

But I’m going to be silly now!

Two weeks ago, a friend of our community brought five little lambs to our monastery for the nuns to see. They were so CUTE!!! One of them was a pure white ewe lamb, just over a week old, so tiny and sweet! As soon as I saw her, I couldn’t help but scoop the cute fuzzy creature up in my arms. I thought of our Jesus, the pure white “Lamb of God,” as He is called in scripture and in the Mass. To my surprise, that sweet baby took one look at me and immediately began covering my face with little lamb kisses, by which I mean she began eagerly licking my face. Okay, so maybe she was tasting something of my dinner, which I had just finished, but I thought of it as lamb kisses. In any case, and this is the silly but wonderful part, in those lamb kisses, I experienced something of the love of God.

Maybe I’m a little crazy. But I truly felt spiritually uplifted after it, it stayed with me, brightened my day and my prayer that day; I felt the love of Christ. I felt the kiss of the Lamb of God. It was a real grace from the Lord for me that day.

Since then, I keep feeling the “Kiss of the Lamb”… I keep feeling and seeing God’s love. On Monday last week, the very day that Bishop Medley announced the suspension of public Masses in the Owensboro diocese, the homily at our morning Mass was all about seeing God in little, ordinary things. That afternoon, I took one of our sisters to a doctor appointment. In the waiting room, where I sat for over an hour, three different moms came in at different times, each with a young child (perhaps the moms had to have their kids with them, since the schools/ preschools/ daycares are closed!). I experienced delight in the sweet, innocent little children, and in the love of the mothers for them. It wasn’t something I tried or thought about…it just “out of the blue” struck me as BEAUTIFUL. It was a “Kiss of the Lamb,” a sign of the love of my Jesus.

That same day, I wasn’t feeling too well as I went to bed—I had a bad headache. But I felt joy, and it came to me, “This is a kiss of the Lamb… of the Sacrificial Lamb of God Who takes away the sins of the world”… a gift from Him, a tiny way I can offer myself with Him for the suffering Church.

The next day I was in a doom and gloom mindset with an Eeyore cloud over my head over the whole coronavirus situation and the cancelled Masses. In this state I went out at the end of the afternoon to check the doors, and the warmth of the shining sun hit my face, and I thought again of the kiss of the Lamb. I felt God’s love, presence, and care in the warmth of the sun.  I don’t usually do that. I guess I could work harder at having the eyes of faith to see God in the beauty of nature.  But on this day, it just came to me as a sweet surprise, another gift from the Lord.

That evening, I took Bishop Medley’s letter to prayer to see what the Lord might have to say to me through the Father and Shepherd of our diocese. This was the letter in which our Bishop announced the suspension of public Masses, and also offered words of encouragement and hope. It was pondering his words of encouragement that I recalled and “added up” the little moments of grace that I’ve just shared—and there were many more, too! Bishop Medley said,

“Even as we speak of a need to isolate ourselves from public gatherings and even neighbors, we remain assured that God is close at hand.”

And at the end of the letter, he wrote:

“We are never beyond the reach of God.  And that reach can be extended by our acts of charity and concern for our neighbors.”

In the midst of the suffering, confusion, heartache of these times, I think God is calling us to awaken to His little “kisses,” His love, presence, and care all around us. These are times of great sorrow; many people feel lost, not being able to draw close to God in the way they are used to, through the Mass and the Liturgy. But God will never abandon us! He is near to us. In the Bishop’s words, He is “close at hand.” Through this time of trial, He calls us to repent and return to Him, but He draws close to us so we don’t have far to go in our return journey! I’m making it my goal to see Him and bear witness to His closeness and His love, as I continue to pour myself out as best I can in prayer for the Church and the world at critical time.